Becoming An American Citizen

On Becoming a Citizen

The question is asked often enough. I just don't know the answer anymore. Why am I not a citizen? Why stay as a Legal Alien? You live here, why not become a citizen? I joke that I'm a politician's dream: I pay taxes and have no say on how it's spent. I argue that it'd be like divorcing your mother. But is it a fear of loss of identity? Once an American citizen, would I lose my uniqueness of being Brazilian?

I hardly have any contacts with Brazilians outside my immediate friends, those I've known for a long time, before my husband brought me here. I try to keep up with the news, call my brothers and sisters, my parents, but I feel that more than distance separates us now. Lifestyle, life experiences, expectations are all different.

I'm the fourth on a family of five. I was the first to get married, the first to have children. Although my Mother doesn't live here anymore, I'll be always grateful for her presence when my children were born. And I feel guilty and grateful that I don't live there to deal with the ever-present family problems my siblings have to deal with. Life here has different dimensions, or maybe it's as my husband says, "Happiness is relative - the further away from your relatives, the happier you are." But his family lives close to us, and it doesn't make me unhappy. Probably because they don't have the Drama that my family has, is always involved with.

I lived in Brazil until I was 18. When Steve and I met in his self-discovery trip I was 15, and in love with his friend. When he came to Rio again to start a business, we met again, and eventually "clicked." After one of his many trips back and forth, he asked me to marry him, and stated he wouldn't leave without me. I came with him (almost got sent back immediately from lack of a return ticket) to get to know him better, and meet his family. My father also came later, and Steve, then unemployed, was his official guide. After 7 months here, I returned to Brazil, no concrete plans made, Steve calling every couple of days. After a particular high telephone bill, he called my father to "make it official." My father flew him down, we had an engagement party, and I moved here.

We got married (was almost deported after the honeymoon in Mexico for marrying with a tourist visa) and started life. I was 19, Steve 23. I became a Legal Alien, an official Green Card holder. We lived in Orange County, Steve had a job, and we started making mutual friends. I tried to work for a bakery and a couple of other places, never having worked before. I watched daytime television to improve my English, still heavily accented. After a couple of job losses here, we decided to try life in Brazil. Steve went through the process of requesting an immigrant visa to Brazil. He was a Legal Alien there. We got married there (Why not?) and had all the stress I didn't have in the US - the Drama. Life was good there, but a possible job in the US, pregnancy and changing economic situations made us consider moving back here. We came back, and I was almost stripped of my Green Card at the airport because I'd been living out of the country for too long. Steve applied for the job, didn't get that one, got another and our life took an unexpected direction, which placed us where we are now. We've been fortunate.

Shortly after our son was born, I started going to school, one class at a time. I couldn't believe that I could go to College! Junior College was a new and intriguing process to me. I took English classes - I qualified immediately for Freshman Comp, which still makes me very proud. Steve's career advancements made us move often, and I had to pause school for a couple of years. I was able to finally finish my degree when our son was 9, taking 24 units during the last year. Eight years for an AA. It might seem like a lot to most people. I was the first in my immediate family to graduate from a higher institution.

But it was when our son started Kindergarten that my real education began. Society is different here; expectations for our families and ourselves are different. Not better or worse, different. I loved the fact that I could participate in my children's education. The parents that were part of that school community were caring, fun and willing to help others less savvy on the ins and outs of the public educational system. And I learned that parental involvement is what helps make a public school thrive.

Now we're back in Orange County. Our children are going to the same High School Steve graduated from. We've been married 21 years. And the question comes, why aren't you a citizen? I have to question myself too.

I cry when I see the respect people show the National Anthem and the American Flag. I believe in the United States. Not in a passing sort of "yeah it's a great country" way. I believe in the people, and their commitment to the country. It's part of my Drama side, that deep belief that people make a big difference. In a way I feel it would be a betrayal to my country, as if I'm giving up on it, in becoming an American citizen.

One of the biggest incentives I can see to become a citizen is to serve jury duty. I've been called twice, but being an alien I was excused. The justice system in the US works. The little guy here can win against the big guy. No, I'm not blind to its shortcomings, but overall it's a very good system, flexible yet firm at its core.

Another reason is, of course, being able to vote. I'm highly opinionated - my friends chose to indulge me by listening. And the political process in the US is very exciting. I know, some of you are shaking your head and thinking of the ballots that have to be read in order to make a rational decision. But think: by voting, you are touching the future. Decisions you make today will help shape the world your grandchildren will live in.

It is the people of the United States that make this a great country. The people's constant commitment to an ideal that might seem naïve to some, secretly reviled by others, yet constantly envied by many. It's a country of opportunities, of great challenges, full of great feats and great love. It's a passionate nation, the US, it has its own Drama, but the people chose to show it as a group, with a common ideal. And maybe I want be part of this ideal, part of this country, one of its people.
9/24/02

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